Cool MateBe kind to yourself vs You can’t do that to yourself
When to use each in English, with meaning, register, and examples.
Be kind to yourself
You can’t do that to yourself
| Be kind to yourself | You can’t do that to yourself | |
|---|---|---|
| Pronunciation | 🇬🇧 //biː kaɪnd tə jɔːˈsɛlf//🇺🇸 //bi kaɪnd tə jɔːrˈsɛlf// | 🇬🇧 //juː kɑːnt duː ðæt tə jəˈsɛlf//🇺🇸 //ju kænt du ðæt tə jʊˈsɛlf// |
| Meaning | Treat yourself well and gently. | You shouldn't treat yourself that way. |
| Example | After a long week, remember to be kind to yourself and take a day off. | You can’t do that to yourself, you deserve better. |
| Register | Neutral | Neutral |
| How common | Top 5,000 (fairly common) | Top 2,000 (common) |
| Collocations | be kind to others, practice kindness, show self-love, focus on self-care | do harm to yourself, be gentle with yourself, treat yourself kindly |
| Common mistakes | Using it in a sarcastic way, which changes its meaning., Not understanding that it encourages self-compassion., Confusing it with 'be nice to others', which has a different focus. | Sometimes omits 'that' and says 'You can’t do to yourself'., 'Yourself' is confused with 'myself' or 'herself'. |
| Usage notes | This phrase is often used in self-care discussions or therapeutic contexts. It's appropriate for casual conversations about mental health. | Use this phrase to advise someone against self-harm or negative self-treatment. It's appropriate in both casual and serious conversations. |
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Frequently asked questions: Be kind to yourself vs You can’t do that to yourself
What's the difference between Be kind to yourself and You can’t do that to yourself?
Be kind to yourself: Treat yourself well and gently. You can’t do that to yourself: You shouldn't treat yourself that way.
Which is more common: Be kind to yourself and You can’t do that to yourself?
You can’t do that to yourself is the most common in everyday English.
Can you show an example of each?
Be kind to yourself: After a long week, remember to be kind to yourself and take a day off. You can’t do that to yourself: You can’t do that to yourself, you deserve better.
Can I use Be kind to yourself and You can’t do that to yourself interchangeably?
Not always. Be kind to yourself and You can’t do that to yourself are related and overlap in some contexts, but they differ in register, how common they are, and usage, so swapping one for another can change the meaning or tone. Check the differences above before substituting.